Updated Animatic- Draft 3 and Above

NEW Full Storyboards for Intrusion- Draft 3 and Above

I recently learned that I wanted to change certain things about Intrusion, mainly regarding shots and content. I therefore re-did all of my storyboards, so that all drafts from 3 and so on will be updated and working around new story-boards. The new ones are as follows:

These are the 4 storyboards for ''Intrusion' draft 3 and so on, and bring the short film to a total run time of approximately 4 minutes and 30 seconds.

Intrusion Poster - Draft No.3 - Final draft

This is my third and final draft of the poster for Intrusion.

There were minor improvements with this draft, but I feel they had a good overall effect on the poster.

One of these improvements was that the captions were a bit too big, so in this draft I had them be a bit smaller. This is so that they are less eye catching and the audiences attention can be focused more on other things, such as the title itself, and the image in the poster.

I also made the text at the bottom of the poster smaller, because originally it was also a bit too big so it stood out in the poster more than it should.

I also changed the colour of 'A film by Ashley Banger' from red to black just to ensure all the text isn't the same colour, and just to add a bit more variety.


Characteristics of the poster? 


- The black and white background is used to connote the ominous theme I was going for in Intrusion. The colour scheme represents the darker mood and tone Intrusion was intended for, I felt that if I included colour in the poster it wouldn't quite pinpoint the tone and design I was going for.

- The 2 characters are facing away from the camera- this was used on purpose to create a mysterious relationship between the audience and the characters. The audience are left to interpret what the characters will be like, and what their intentions are. I thought this was good as it adds to the mystery behind Intrusion which is what the premise and poster is designed for .

Secondary Teacher Feedback- Short Film Draft #2

Recently I showed my second draft of 'Intrusion' to my other media teacher. He had certain, common improvements with my 2nd draft that were also found to be in my other feedback sessions from my other teacher and peers.

- One main improvement he told me that I definitely need to amend is the lighting in several shots that take place upstairs. He said some of the shots were just simply too dark and that this made the shots look noisy due to the lack of light, since I only sourced light from the candles. Next time, I will be using additional light sources when shooting however considerably dulling down the colours in editing, which will help me to achieve a similar effect of darkness in the shots. This is a good improvement I found and will make my next draft look higher quality.

- Another main  improvement/adjustment he found was that some of the sudden dips to black were considered to be unnecessary or lacking much point. Whilst I originally intended them to create suspense, and to help segment the story, my teacher didn't fully agree with this and would recommend I take them out. This is something I don't mind doing due to the fact that I partially agree in saying the sudden dips to back aren't fully necessary or structural.

- One other main improvement he commented on was the draft's length. The draft currently sits at 3.30mins approximately, whereas we should be aiming for a minimum of 4 minutes. This is something I definitely need to address in my next draft by shooting more footage.

- One last improvement was that I had several minor problems with continuity. However most of these were mistakes with things that I am going to be re-shooting so I'm not too worried about this for now.

Overall I'm happy with his feedback as I now have a clearer understanding of how to improve my product and will be carrying out these improvements as soon as possible.

'Intrusion' Draft #2

Here is my 2nd draft of Intrusion! I'm overall happy with this cut and think the vision has came together well.

'Intrusion' Draft #1- Initial Feedback and Responses from Peers and Teacher

After an initial screening of our first draft of our main texts to our peers, I have gotten some strengths and improvements for my first draft of my short film. I found this to be useful to me to quite an extent, as I now have a good idea of what people liked about my short film and also what needed changing or removing.

Some of the common strengths in my first draft were:

- Good use of ambient music. This is something I'm happy with and agree with due to the fact that I thought the piece of score was effective and appropriate for my short film. It was also something  I felt was a highlight in my video so far, so I'm pleased that people found it was good and well selected.

- Good editing. People liked the style of editing and thought the edits between the tripod footage and the handheld footage was good and served a real purpose. The purpose being the handheld footage was from the point of view of the thief's, making it look more gritty and realistic. This was why I used differing camera shot types and am glad people liked the different uses of them and thought it was effective.

- Several people liked the in and out focus of the first shot, as well as the fade in from black. They thought it was successful in achieving an ambient opening to the film; as well as swiftly establishing the setting.  They also thought it added to the suspense of the short film.

- Clever uses of lighting. I think people thought the way I was able to balance lighting with colour correction was well done and it achieves a suitable, respectable look. It makes my colour pallet look dark and low-key lighting but still has a fairly day-time esque colour pallet simultaneously.

- People also are beginning to like the narrative, despite it being only the first half of my short film. I am pleased with this as there is no dialogue in my short film as of yet, so it's good that people deciphering the narrative and plot just by the camera shots and the actions of the characters.

However they also had some weaknesses with my first draft.

- One significant, or more picked up than anything else weakness with my first draft short film is that the non-diegetic audio became repetitive, or made people lose slight interest in the film. This is something that surprised me and made me think twice about how I should go about audio in my product, so now I know in my 2nd draft when all shooting is complete, to have a range of audio types and be sure to change things up a bit, making a mixture of both diegetic audio and non-diegetic. This will keep things interesting for the audience and not have them be slightly put off by only hearing one piece and type of audio soundtrack like in my first draft currently.

- Some people found pacing to be an issue- whether shots went on for too long or some shots in general were't needed, which ultimately dragged out my short film or made it longer than it needed to be, also making it less effective. This is something I'll be sure to change in my 2nd draft round and will pay closer attention to shots that aren't 100% needed, and any ways I can speed up footage or takes.

- Some people found lighting to be an issue- whereas this is something I slightly disagree with. I most likely will just edit my colour correction more next time so that the colours are not as dark and low-key, and be sure to have slightly brighter and more colorful images.

Intrusion Poster Draft #2

This is the revised, 2nd draft of my poster for Intrusion. The first most notable improvement being that this one is now portrait, the standard convention for film posters. This was a fundamental improvement I had to utilise because my poster can't be landscape for significant, established reasons.

Another improvement is the text. I had to add all the necessary text at the bottom that my first draft didn't have. This is the text that will be found at the bottom of every film poster, all the information regarding the films production such as studios, directors, actors, producers and so on. This is also essential information that will be on most commercial film posters.

The image itself for the poster is now in black and white. I feel that this was a necessary improvement/adjustment as it suits the mood and tone of Intrusion much more than by using an image with lots of colour. This is because the black and white creates a bleaker, more sinister tone reflected in the darker, low-key lit colours. I also like how the house is now totally black in colour, creating a very mysterious tone and vibe towards Intrusion from the poster so far.

Overall I am happy with this draft, but I am looking to carry out more improvements for my next draft.